Autism Land……Again

It’s been a jam-packed Autism Fiesta lately…and not on purpose as part of our observance of National Autism Awareness Month.

Kiddo’s migraines have been sunlight triggered the last few mornings and after his meds are on board, he’s fine the rest of the day…..but it sets the tone.  He’s more OCD-y. He’s sneakier.  And he absolutely looks for his opening and takes it.

I have had a busier than usual few weeks…so of course, that’s when the Autism-Fairy visits us  at her most intensive.  I’m stressed. I’m vulnerable.  I’m tired and weepy.  Not good if I’m trying to give the appearance of *normal*.

Because the next few days were to be take-out and leftovers, I thought I would make one of the family’s favorite meals on Friday.  It’s a chicken in wine dish I learned from my mother-in-law and it’s a winner.  Only problem is it has to be made the day before so the chicken can marinate in the wine.  I browned the chicken, put it in a white casserole pan, poured the wine and the rest of the seasonings over it all and put aluminum foil over. Then I put it in my kitchen refrigerator. I thought Kiddo would not be able to see through the pan or the foil so, silly me, he would not figure out what it was.

Kiddo was home but the rest of the boys were not…..I made sure to put the pan in the frig when he wasn’t in the kitchen.  And then went upstairs to fold my underwear and get out clothes for myself for each of five events taking place this weekend….I’ve learned to do this so I have what I need even if I have to deal with something and forget.

I came downstairs and The Middle Boy was in the family room, sitting next to Kiddo…who was chewing something.  I asked TMB if he know what he was eating…he didn’t…..and I smelled Kiddo’s breath….chicken in wine……RAW chicken in wine!  I sobbed and took the pan and hefted it to the frig in the garage…..I should have done that to begin with but the pan is heavy and the wine sloshes….if one of the other boys had been home, I would have asked them to do it for me BUT I didn’t want to lift it, didn’t want to slosh it and didn’t think Kiddo could be that DAMN SMART to figure it out…..if he smelled garlic and olive oil, there was probably Grandma’s Chicken in Wine someplace. I felt like a failure because I didn’t think of all the contingencies. And I was worried he would have some sort of salmonella-type GI reaction.

I had lunch with one of my Autism Mom friends, Gigi (not her name), yesterday….this was one of my events (not really an event, but it is to us since it takes months of planning to figure out when & where!).  She reminded me we old time Autism Moms carry this guilt around with us from the days we had home visits and everything we did as far as parenting was concerned was questioned.  I had to agree…..a part of me worried someone would call me out for taking the easy way by putting that marinating raw chicken in the kitchen frig.  But how can we think of everything ALL THE TIME?  ALL THE TIME? The answer is…we can’t…we are only human. I know I’m human but think of myself as Super Autism Mom….I am, but sometimes, I’m not.

Everything is back to normal here.  I am on my way out to the final event of the weekend in about an hour.  And Kiddo?  Suffered no ill effects from his raw chicken partaking.  He is fine. HE IS FINE!

Every month is Autism Awareness Month at our house!