Autism Cuppa

What do I tell her?

I have been weepy all day.  I had my semi-regular Thursday morning meeting today and have been teary, weepy and crying a bit ever since.  I cried when I went to the market.  As I put the oranges away, and made sure the frozen pizza had enough space in the freezer, my eyes watered, not of their own volition. The Kiddo, when I picked him up right before lunch, couldn’t make me smile with his blatant way of trying to flirt his way to dessert (chocolate chip cookies–the GOOD kind) before lunch. The Middle Boy and The Youngest checked in to see what was up for din-din and when and Hubby called to make sure I made the connections for picking up Kiddo after my meeting.  I slept-walked through all if it, with my face red and swollen from crying.

At the meeting (a community arts council I work with)I ran into a colleague who teaches with me.  She teaches full-time and I teach part-time so the only place we actually SEE each other regularly are at these meetings. I wanted to hear about another colleague of ours who had a baby–a little boy–two weeks ago.  I had heard Greta*(not her name) gave birth on her due date but not anything else. Then my colleague sighed, teared up and told me about Greta’s Little Guy.

Greta gave birth by emergency C-section but the Little Guy seemed fine right after birth.  As they were getting ready to go home the next day, Little Guy had a seizure for no apparent reason but after many, many tests, it appears he had a stroke during birth or right after.  They were lucky in that Greta gave birth at the BEST UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL in our state so he had the best care from the beginning. He is now doing well (they were able to go home yesterday) but they just don’t know what his prognosis is.  It isn’t until he misses developmental milestones they will have a better idea of what is what.  Hubby (a scientist) tells me baby’s brains are so pliable, he might be okay BUT he might have CP or worse.

Greta and her husband and the Little Guy are moving to my town…probably five minutes from me…..and the colleague thought it might be a good idea for Greta to talk to me.  Since I had been an ASA local chapter Prez, I know the early intervention programs etc. and many of the early childhood resources. For some reason, the folks at our college thought I should be the one to talk to her and I am having doubts about doing it.

Greta and her husband are perfect people.  They just bought a perfect house in the perfect town with the perfect yard for an active little boy. They expected a perfect baby but that may not be their son. I had a *perfect* baby for two years before autism became our reality. Their baby is two weeks old and I’m not sure what to say.

The only thing I can think of to say is….he’s your son and love him, no matter what.  Do the best you can do and love him.  Love him. Love him. Love him.


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Your Autism Cuppa is written by a longtime Autism Mom. A former Autism Society of America local chapter president, she is an educator and artist and has done inclusion consulting work for over 20 years. Married for 36 years to the father of her Three Sons, the eldest having autism, she wants young parents to know they are not alone. Life can be fun!

2 thoughts on “What do I tell her?”

  1. I think you just gave the best advice anyone could give. This is such a tough situation and my heart is heavy with yours for them. Thankfully they will have knowledgeable people like you to help them along the way should they need it.

    Liked by 1 person

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